Dry.

For the past week or so I feel like I've run out of things to say, or probably more accurately the desire to say things. So, this wisdom is not my own, but I read this for the first time when I was sixteen and I've kept it since then because fragments of it are still resonating in my heart, so I thought I would share it with you.



"It is a peculiar stupidity that allows me to become so easily discouraged. my usual order of things: (1) pray for God's guidance and wisdom (2) ignore or betray the convictions He gives me (3) charge or doubt Him because of the disorder and confusion in my life. is there peace in our hearts? are we not lying to ourselves and others, professing a faith we scarcely believe in? may God forbid we become comfortable here! but rather than seeking happiness we should value this restlessness. if we didn't first feel the pain of a cut, what would prompt us to clean and wrap the wound, preventing infection or worse? this emotional pain of ours (if I may assume I'm not alone in my sadness), as with physical pain, is often a sign that something is wrong. rather than dress the wound, or even question the cause, don't we choose spiritual numbness (entertainment, socializing, education or career ambitions...) and so decide not to feel the infection of our entire lives? this sickness or infection is disobedience and self-absorbtion, a lack of love for God and other people. I am sick with myself, and too much with this world. but there are certain moments, radiant with sorrow and pity, where my soul is set on fire by the love of Jesus! he does not avoid or deny the suffering of the world, but takes it upon himself in its most extreme. far from our mediocrity and compromise, his crucifixion challenges us to suffer wildly, dares us to love recklessly, even foolishly. my friends, when will we grow tired of mediocrity and compromise? God, forgive our selfishness. please soften our hearts and open our ears to your truth. let us die to oursleves, and give us a new and wonderful life. help us see You in those around us and show them the patience and gentleness You've shown us. let us love the unlovable as You have loved us. You are beautiful, just beautiful, my Lord!"
-ajw